1959 Chevrolet Apache pick up, Fishtail scene

[Renee]

You guys have helped me a lot as I'm writing my novel which features a 1959 Apache pickup and a mechanical bull. Many of you have answered question about the truck. For your review, I am submitting the scene where a storm comes up and the Apache truck and trailer fishtail and go backwards down a hill into a creek. In such a situation, if she is braking, would she also have the clutch pushed in too?

And BTW, Max is a puppy. Let me know if there is anything else I can add to make it more realistic.

Max curled on the bench seat between them, snoozing on the blanket Sadie had folded for him. Clouds lowered overhead and by the time they reached I-85 on the road to Alabama, a drizzly rain misted over the road and the fields of joe pye weed and purple prairie phlox that stretched away on both sides of the road.

Henry had assumed his usual position, slouched in the seat with his Stetson pulled over his face, and arms crossed over his chest. The man could sleep anywhere.

Her glance lingered for a moment on the bit of strong square jaw that did show. She raised her chin and turned back to the steering wheel, determined that no matter how handsome he was, she didn’t want him here.

She found an oldies station and turned it up. Singing along to the radio always made her feel good and reminded her of summers traveling the circuit with her Grandpa.

I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin’.
I see bad times today.

She belted into the chorus, banging her fist on the steering wheel.

Don’t go around tonight,
Well, it’s bound to take your life,
There’s a bad moon on the rise.

The Stetson came off and Henry laughed. “You really ought to get your lyrics down.” He ran his hand through his hair and grinned at her.

“What?”

“Your lyrics.” In a high falsetto voice, he sang, “there’s a bathroom on the right.”

Sadie frowned. “That’s not what I said. I know perfectly well what the lyrics are.”

“Didn’t sound like it.” Henry settled back into his seat and muttered something under his breath.


“What was that? Hoity toity?”

He shrugged. “If the shoe fits…”

“Just who do think you are?” Anger streamed through her veins like white lightning, snapping any tenuous thread of connection. “I never wanted you here to begin with! I could throw you out of this truck right now, wise guy.”

He grinned. “Well, slow down first. That pavement looks rough. A man could crack his skull. Didn’t think you’d pitch a hissy fit at a little teasing.” He straightened and glanced around. “And watch it. The wind’s coming up.”

Hot words rose to her lips but the sky darkened suddenly and a broadside burst of wind hit the truck. The right-side wheels of the trailer bumped off onto the rough shoulder. She lightly pressed the brake in an effort to ease the wheels back onto the road.

“Whoa.” Henry braced himself as the trailer swung back onto the slippery asphalt. “Watch it now.”

“Don’t tell me what to—”

Sadie’s fingers clenched the steering wheel as the tires hydroplaned on the wet road and the trailer fishtailed, swinging into the oncoming lane. An approaching car, horn blaring, swerved onto the shoulder, its tires smoking, and Sadie caught a glance in the rear view mirror as the occupants shook their fists at her.

As the trailer swung back in the opposite direction, she fed the accelerator a little gas, hoping the trailer would straighten out but it was too late, and it swung in a more vicious arc, wrenching the truck with it.

Gasoline sloshed and slapped the sides of the fuel tank and the tires squealed as Sadie fought the steering wheel and lost control.

“Hang on!” Henry grabbed Max with one hand and clutched the window frame.

Sadie screamed as the back end of the trailer swung in a wider arc and careened backwards off the shoulder and jolted down the slope, yanking the truck with it.

“Brake! Brake! Brake!” shouted Henry while the dog barked furiously.

“I am!”

Sadie gripped the steering wheel and jammed both feet on the brake as the two-thousand-pound trailer crashed backwards through the bushes. Branches screeched against the sides of the truck and lashed through the open windows while Max howled at each teeth-rattling bump. The truck lurched to a stop at the bottom of the incline, flinging Sadie’s head against the steering wheel and throwing Henry forward as equipment shifted inside the trailer and slammed the trailer doors with a final jarring thud.

The acrid stench of burning brakes stung her nostrils as white smoke curled from the sides of the truck.

Slowly she let out her breath and turned off the ignition.

Henry pulled Max onto his lap and turned to her. “Hey. You OK?”

Sadie didn’t answer. Her fingers came away bloody when she touched her forehead.

“You’re hurt.” He put the puppy down and turned her chin to face him but she jerked away.

“Don’t touch me.”

He exhaled hard, opened the passenger side door, and got out to inspect the damage. Sadie examined her face in the rearview mirror. When her head bashed against the steering wheel it left a small cut near the hairline. She’d live.

“You stay here, Max.”

The puppy whimpered when she opened the truck door. “You’re OK.” She stroked its trembling head.

As quickly as it had started, the rain stopped. Wisps of steam rose from the wet fields. The rear tires of the trailer were partly submerged in the muddy water at the bottom of the ditch. The trailer doors had held, but there was a convex dent in one of the doors. No telling what might be broken inside.

Henry plucked a piece of trailing vine from the truck’s front grille. “I’ll say one thing for you, Red. You sure know how to liven up a road trip.”
(end scene)

OK, let me know what you think!
*

[OrrieG]

Sliding off the side is more realistic than backwards, good choice. I have had two friends that rolled their vehicles with a dog inside and in both cases the dog bailed as soon as the rigs stopped. If you google rock climber trucks gone bad you will see a bunch that flip a roll and if there is a dog inside they exit the second it stops, or sometimes as it still moving. Having been in a pretty severe head on collision in a 60 Impala the steering column wound is right along with some good bruised ribs. Right after everything stopped it was very silent for about 5 seconds except for engine ticking and radiator steaming. Regarding the clutch she would probably have left it in gear worrying about the brakes and maybe depressed it when the truck stopped or the engine would stall during the slide or when it stopped. Good job.

[Renee]

Thank you, OrrieG, that's a great idea about the dog. I think I will add that in. I will also use the part about the engine ticking. May I ask - why would the radiator be steaming?

[OrrieG]

Originally Posted by Renee

Thank you, OrrieG, that's a great idea about the dog. I think I will add that in. I will also use the part about the engine ticking. May I ask - why would the radiator be steaming?

I was referring to mine in the head on, broke the radiator. Yours would be ok.

[Renee]

OK, got it. Thanks for all your help.

[1project2many]

Neat passage. Thanks for introducing the truck as a character.

I wonder about the drizzling rain and open windows in the truck though. I'm guessing they were opened previously?

Did the trailer drag the truck backward or did the truck drag the trailer? Sounds like, at the end of it all, the passengers of the truck were thrown forward but the cargo in the trailer was thrown against the rear doors?

Maybe none of it matters anyway. Looks like its going to be a good read.

[Renee]

OK, well now you've got me thinking. I'm having the trailer dragging the truck backward down into the ditch. (I know from all the guys here that this would be an unlikely scenario, thus the broadside burst of wind and the hydroplaning to force it out of control.) So when the truck and trailer finally lurches to a stop, they would be thrown backward, hard against their seats, and not the other way around. OK, I see. I will fix that.

And this truck wouldn't have had any AC, so the windows would probably be at least partly open for ventilation. And then everything else happens so quickly.

And yes, thank you for noticing, the truck indeed is a main character, and I have other places where I write about its interior, etc. I have a photo of the 1959 Apache in turquoise as my computer background. Originally I was going to have a pair of steer horn on the front grill, but I decided the truck is perfect the way it is. I AM trying to decide if I should give it a name. Thanks for your help.

[1project2many]

Originally I was going to have a pair of steer horn on the front grill, but I decided the truck is perfect the way it is.

lol... I would agree.

I AM trying to decide if I should give it a name.

I'm probably not the right guy to make suggestions. I have three cats, "Cat," "Cat," and "Cat."

[Foot Stomper]

Great read! well done!
previous comments aside, "grabbing the window frame" could use a tweak IMHO.

In new modern trucks there is a grab handle up near the windshield but on these old girls no such hande exists. I would recommend a hand on the dash or perhaps both hands on dog... not that important what he does except grabbing the window frame wouldn't quite accurate.

one option to consider is that it quite likely and possible for the engine to stall out during this event. just an option.

let us know when the book is ready?

[Renee]

Thank you! I will fix that. When the book is published, there will definitely be a big Thank You to all the guys here in the forum.

[OrrieG]

Every old truck has a name, maybe "gramps"? Mine is Mongo, given to it by my hunting partners in honor of Blazing Saddles character.

[Advanced Design]

Renee, I've been following your comments and appreciate the research detail you are into.

Is that common for authors? Guessing it is as most authors I've read have many people they are thanking in their closing remarks.

Good luck with your research and getting your book published.

[Renee]

OrieG, for some reason I am thinking of the Apache as female - because she is so darn pretty!

And Doug, I usually write historical fiction so I am used to doing tons of research. This is my first contemporary novel, so it's not quite as much. But I want the Apache to be a star of the story, too, just like a character.

[OrrieG]

Originally Posted by Renee

OrieG, for some reason I am thinking of the Apache as female - because she is so darn pretty!

And Doug, I usually write historical fiction so I am used to doing tons of research. This is my first contemporary novel, so it's not quite as much. But I want the Apache to be a star of the story, too, just like a character.

Could be, my 64 Chevelle is a "she"!