Joke Thread - Page 34 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**richard2717** · 08-01-2021, 11:42 AM

miss

**Steeveedee** · 08-02-2021, 12:43 PM

This is horrible, but I still laughed-

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What is wrong with you?

Driver: I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.

Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!

Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.

**71CHEVYSHORTBED402** · 08-05-2021, 03:47 AM

https://www.tiktok.com/@subzerodenir...03031930342661

**richard2717** · 08-06-2021, 04:58 PM

butt

SCOTI · 08-06-2021, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

butt

Now this really got me chuckling

I'm curious who sat down & did the calculations. Gotta love those that think.

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-07-2021, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SCOTI

Now this really got me chuckling

I'm curious who sat down & did the calculations. Gotta love those that think.

I'm sure that I'm missing something here but I don't get it?

**Getter-Done** · 08-07-2021, 04:45 AM

.
An 89 year old Ron Chester was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife.

.

SCOTI · 08-07-2021, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

I'm sure that I'm missing something here but I don't get it?

The human body has an intake port for sustenance & a discharge 'port' for solids waste. The two ports are connected in between. Do some biology research for intestine lengths.

When one human body locks-lips (joins the intake ports) w/another human body, the exit port to exit port distance is quite long

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-07-2021, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SCOTI

The human body has an intake port for sustenance & a discharge 'port' for solids waste. The two ports are connected in between. Do some biology research for intestine lengths.

When one human body locks-lips (joins the intake ports) w/another human body, the exit port to exit port distance is quite long

So I can tell my wife that it's longer than it looks??

**richard2717** · 08-07-2021, 04:25 PM

bless

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-08-2021, 05:06 AM

Why is a hemorrhoid called a hemorrhoid and an asteroid called an asteroid?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

**Steeveedee** · 08-08-2021, 10:53 AM

Because then you would be pooping rocks, which wouldn't be an improvement.

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-08-2021, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

Because then you would be pooping rocks, which wouldn't be an improvement.

You haven't seen my poop. Rocks would be an improvement.

It's not a pretty sight.

**Ol Blue K20** · 08-08-2021, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

You haven't seen my poop. Rocks would be an improvement.

It's not a pretty sight.

Aw $#*t.....more info than I needed/wanted!!

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-09-2021, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

Aw $#*t.....more info than I needed/wanted!!

Haha. Live with that visual baby!!

**richard2717** · 08-09-2021, 04:08 PM

size

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-09-2021, 08:06 PM

A guy walks into a bar. There is a very fat girl in a short skirt dancing on a table.

He looks at her and says. Hey great legs.

She smiles. Do you really think so?

Sure. He nods. Most tables would have collapsed by now.

72 tigger · 08-09-2021, 09:28 PM

Happy Monday

**Steeveedee** · 08-09-2021, 09:43 PM

^ Well, the cage probably will protect him.

**Boog** · 08-12-2021, 02:04 PM

Oh , well. That may be how they use them there. Look at his t shirt.

**Getter-Done** · 08-15-2021, 09:58 PM

.

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Size: 77.7 KB

........................... Name: cat124.jpg
Views: 546
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,....../

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-10-2021, 01:35 AM

WTF? Why is that guy in a cage to pump up a tire? I'm lost.

Just stick the hose in and take you chances. Like I did with his sister.

**Steeveedee** · 08-10-2021, 10:05 AM

You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag?

**FleetsidePaul** · 08-10-2021, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag?

I guess that makes sense.

Tires are like women. I know nothing about them other than that they need to be replaced every few years.

**Ol Blue K20** · 08-10-2021, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

I guess that makes sense.

Tires are like women. I know nothing about them other than that they need to be replaced every few years.

I hope your (current) wife Doesn'tread this......

08-01-2021, 11:42 AM	#1
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,140	Re: Joke Thread miss Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-02-2021, 12:43 PM	#2
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,752	Re: Joke Thread This is horrible, but I still laughed- Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What is wrong with you? Driver: I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant. Judge: Hit the 2 men of course! Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

08-05-2021, 03:47 AM	#3
71CHEVYSHORTBED402 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Northern Nevada Posts: 7,336	Re: Joke Thread https://www.tiktok.com/@subzerodenir...03031930342661 __________________ Tony 71 Custom Deluxe, SWB, 2WD, 402, A/C. I developed an assembly kit for restoring the (a) truck from the ground up. My build thread, and more on the assembly kit https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...d.php?t=730025

08-06-2021, 04:58 PM	#4
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,140	Re: Joke Thread butt Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-07-2021, 04:45 AM	#7
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,460	Re: Joke Thread . An 89 year old Ron Chester was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife. . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

08-07-2021, 04:25 PM	#10
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,140	Re: Joke Thread bless Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-08-2021, 05:06 AM	#11
FleetsidePaul R.I.P. E.S.L.L. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA. Posts: 11,418	Re: Joke Thread Why is a hemorrhoid called a hemorrhoid and an asteroid called an asteroid? Shouldn't it be the other way around? __________________ 1971 Custom C/20 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God.

08-08-2021, 10:53 AM	#12
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,752	Re: Joke Thread Because then you would be pooping rocks, which wouldn't be an improvement. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

08-09-2021, 04:08 PM	#16
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,140	Re: Joke Thread size Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

08-09-2021, 08:06 PM	#17
FleetsidePaul R.I.P. E.S.L.L. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA. Posts: 11,418	Re: Joke Thread A guy walks into a bar. There is a very fat girl in a short skirt dancing on a table. He looks at her and says. Hey great legs. She smiles. Do you really think so? Sure. He nods. Most tables would have collapsed by now. __________________ 1971 Custom C/20 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God.

08-09-2021, 09:28 PM	#18
72 tigger Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Berne IN Posts: 3,256	Re: Joke Thread Happy Monday Attached Images __________________ 71 C10 72 K20 72 K10 Super Kirk

08-09-2021, 09:43 PM	#19
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,752	Re: Joke Thread ^ Well, the cage probably will protect him. __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

08-12-2021, 02:04 PM	#20
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,544	Re: Joke Thread Oh , well. That may be how they use them there. Look at his t shirt. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

08-15-2021, 09:58 PM	#21
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,460	Re: Joke Thread . ........................... ,....../ __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

08-10-2021, 01:35 AM	#22
FleetsidePaul R.I.P. E.S.L.L. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kernville CA./ Lake Isabella CA. Posts: 11,418	Re: Joke Thread WTF? Why is that guy in a cage to pump up a tire? I'm lost. Just stick the hose in and take you chances. Like I did with his sister. __________________ 1971 Custom C/20 1970 CST 20 1970 C/30 Flatbed 1983 C/30 Dually 2015 Corvette Z51 2021 Corvette Z51 1991 Cadillac Hearse 1982 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz 2000 Porsche Boxster S 2020 Jeep Gladiator 1973 VW Thing 1973 Plymouth Satellite wagon 1963 Baja Bug 1959 Bug Dune Buggy 1970 Baja Bug 1987 Jaguar XJ 350. R.I.P. El Jay R.I.P Jessie. R.I.P Grumpy. Every day is a gift from God.



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08-10-2021, 10:05 AM	#23
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,752	Re: Joke Thread You never worked on those big tires, especially split rims? If you put the ring on wrong, it can come apart and kill you. Thus, the cage. The tire and wheel are supposed to be inside the cage. Maybe he just got back from a gulag? __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

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