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Old 12-22-2020, 12:57 PM   #301
richard2717
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-22-2020, 08:22 PM   #302
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Re: Joke Thread
While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".
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Old 12-22-2020, 10:33 PM   #303
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Re: Joke Thread
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...
Richard
My Friend
You have (In my mind) reached the Top.
This Sums it all up in a Nut-Shell










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Old 12-22-2020, 11:40 PM   #304
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Re: Joke Thread
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...
Reminds me of the story about the wealthy guy who's wife's credit card was stolen. When the bank card company called him to let him know about it, he said that he already knew. They asked why he hadn't reported it, and he told them that they didn't spend money as fast as his wife did, so he was money ahead. I wish I had that kind of money!
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Old 12-23-2020, 06:28 AM   #305
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Re: Joke Thread
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Reminds me of the story about the wealthy guy who's wife's credit card was stolen. When the bank card company called him to let him know about it, he said that he already knew. They asked why he hadn't reported it, and he told them that they didn't spend money as fast as his wife did, so he was money ahead. I wish I had that kind of money!
This reminds me of the wife who was sharing with a friend that she’s responsible for her husband being a millionaire. “What was he before you came along?” she asked, the wife replied “a billionaire”.
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Old 12-23-2020, 06:35 AM   #306
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Re: Joke Thread
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While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".
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Old 12-23-2020, 09:33 AM   #307
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Re: Joke Thread
Oh that's good.
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Old 12-23-2020, 01:16 PM   #308
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Re: Joke Thread
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Originally Posted by 72 tigger View Post
This reminds me of the wife who was sharing with a friend that she’s responsible for her husband being a millionaire. “What was he before you came along?” she asked, the wife replied “a billionaire”.
That reminds me that it is possible to make a small fortune racing.

How? Start with a large fortune.

K
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Old 12-23-2020, 01:17 PM   #309
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Re: Joke Thread
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Originally Posted by lousyflyer View Post
While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".
I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooong…..

jacket.

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Old 12-24-2020, 08:51 AM   #310
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-24-2020, 09:59 AM   #311
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 12-31-2020, 01:39 PM   #312
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 01-03-2021, 03:03 PM   #313
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Re: Joke Thread
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over,

“Step out of the car,” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.”

“I can’t”, the man says “I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”

“Can’t do that either,” Jim replies, “I am a haemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.”

“Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.”

“Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.”

“Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.”

“Can’t do that either” responds Jim.

“Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop.

“Well, because I’m drunk! I could go to jail!”
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 01-03-2021, 08:25 PM   #314
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NAKED CHICKS WITH GUNS!

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Old 01-03-2021, 08:29 PM   #315
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Old 01-05-2021, 11:59 AM   #316
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 01-05-2021, 12:42 PM   #317
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Re: Joke Thread
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That's no joke!
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Old 01-05-2021, 12:46 PM   #318
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Re: Joke Thread
Actually it's kinda scary!
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Old 01-05-2021, 12:53 PM   #319
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That's no joke!
Your right. I should have started a new thread. The no joke thread
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Old 01-05-2021, 08:04 PM   #320
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Re: Joke Thread
A group of Hawaiian Dancers visited last night.

Turns out I was only hulacinating.
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Old 01-10-2021, 12:11 AM   #321
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Re: Joke Thread
My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks...


Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will.


Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.


Can't get up to vote? You may have electile dysfunction.
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Old 01-10-2021, 05:24 PM   #322
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After a year of 2020, now 2020 Won!

I guess everyone can have a bad decade now and then ...
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Old 01-10-2021, 08:51 PM   #323
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Re: Joke Thread
Remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Runnnnnnn!
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primer is finer
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Old 01-10-2021, 09:07 PM   #324
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Re: Joke Thread
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Remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Runnnnnnn!
Love it!!
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Old 01-13-2021, 09:29 AM   #325
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Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
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