Joke Thread - Page 13 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**richard2717** · 12-22-2020, 12:57 PM

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**lousyflyer** · 12-22-2020, 08:22 PM

While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".

**Getter-Done** · 12-22-2020, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

...

Richard
My Friend
You have (In my mind) reached the Top.

This Sums it all up in a Nut-Shell

.

**Steeveedee** · 12-22-2020, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

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Reminds me of the story about the wealthy guy who's wife's credit card was stolen. When the bank card company called him to let him know about it, he said that he already knew. They asked why he hadn't reported it, and he told them that they didn't spend money as fast as his wife did, so he was money ahead. I wish I had that kind of money!

72 tigger · 12-23-2020, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

Reminds me of the story about the wealthy guy who's wife's credit card was stolen. When the bank card company called him to let him know about it, he said that he already knew. They asked why he hadn't reported it, and he told them that they didn't spend money as fast as his wife did, so he was money ahead. I wish I had that kind of money!

This reminds me of the wife who was sharing with a friend that she’s responsible for her husband being a millionaire. “What was he before you came along?” she asked, the wife replied “a billionaire”.

**Ol Blue K20** · 12-23-2020, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lousyflyer

While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".

**Boog** · 12-23-2020, 09:33 AM

Oh that's good.

Keith Seymore · 12-23-2020, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 72 tigger

This reminds me of the wife who was sharing with a friend that she’s responsible for her husband being a millionaire. “What was he before you came along?” she asked, the wife replied “a billionaire”.

That reminds me that it is possible to make a small fortune racing.

How? Start with a large fortune.

K

Keith Seymore · 12-23-2020, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lousyflyer

While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat".

I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken".

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooong…..

jacket.

K

**richard2717** · 12-24-2020, 08:51 AM

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**richard2717** · 12-24-2020, 09:59 AM

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**richard2717** · 12-31-2020, 01:39 PM

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**richard2717** · 01-03-2021, 03:03 PM

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over,

“Step out of the car,” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.”

“I can’t”, the man says “I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”

“Can’t do that either,” Jim replies, “I am a haemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.”

“Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.”

“Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.”

“Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.”

“Can’t do that either” responds Jim.

“Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop.

“Well, because I’m drunk! I could go to jail!”

**Steeveedee** · 01-03-2021, 08:25 PM

NAKED CHICKS WITH GUNS!

CG · 01-03-2021, 08:29 PM

**richard2717** · 01-05-2021, 11:59 AM

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1976gmc20 · 01-05-2021, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

...

That's no joke!

**Ol Blue K20** · 01-05-2021, 12:46 PM

Actually it's kinda scary!

**richard2717** · 01-05-2021, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1976gmc20

That's no joke!

Your right. I should have started a new thread. The no joke thread

1976gmc20 · 01-05-2021, 08:04 PM

A group of Hawaiian Dancers visited last night.

Turns out I was only hulacinating.

**Boog** · 01-10-2021, 12:11 AM

My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks...

Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will.

Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.

Can't get up to vote? You may have electile dysfunction.

1976gmc20 · 01-10-2021, 05:24 PM

After a year of 2020, now 2020 Won!

I guess everyone can have a bad decade now and then ...

**Boog** · 01-10-2021, 08:51 PM

Remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Runnnnnnn!

**Ol Blue K20** · 01-10-2021, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog

Remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Runnnnnnn!

Love it!!

**Boog** · 01-13-2021, 09:29 AM

Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.

12-22-2020, 12:57 PM	#301
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

12-22-2020, 08:22 PM	#302
lousyflyer Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Garden City, GA Posts: 296	Re: Joke Thread While I was picking up a prescription at WalMart the woman in front of me turned around and start looking all around and said "I'm looking for a tall dark man wearing a cowboy hat". I replied "That's pretty specific." Then without hesitating I said "I'm looking for a girl with a steady job and a car that isn't broken". __________________ They tell me that I have Bipolar disorder. That doesn't really bother me. 30 minutes from now it might, but not right now.

12-23-2020, 09:33 AM	#307
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,514	Re: Joke Thread Oh that's good. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

12-24-2020, 08:51 AM	#310
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

12-24-2020, 09:59 AM	#311
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

12-31-2020, 01:39 PM	#312
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

01-03-2021, 03:03 PM	#313
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car,” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, the man says “I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim replies, “I am a haemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk! I could go to jail!” __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

01-03-2021, 08:25 PM	#314
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,677	Re: Joke Thread NAKED CHICKS WITH GUNS! __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

01-03-2021, 08:29 PM	#315
CG BlahBlahBlah Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wa. Posts: 20,022	Re: Joke Thread __________________ … … … … … … … … ... … … … … … … … … … … …

01-05-2021, 11:59 AM	#316
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

01-05-2021, 12:46 PM	#318
Ol Blue K20 Proprietor of Dale's Corner Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Vacaville , CA Posts: 16,245	Re: Joke Thread Actually it's kinda scary! __________________ "Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man R.I.P. FleetsidePaul

01-05-2021, 08:04 PM	#320
1976gmc20 Registered User Join Date: May 2015 Location: Montana Posts: 3,696	Re: Joke Thread A group of Hawaiian Dancers visited last night. Turns out I was only hulacinating. __________________ Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner

01-10-2021, 12:11 AM	#321
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,514	Re: Joke Thread My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks... Life is short. If you can't laugh at yourself call me, I will. Turning vegan would be a big missed steak. Can't get up to vote? You may have electile dysfunction. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

01-10-2021, 05:24 PM	#322
1976gmc20 Registered User Join Date: May 2015 Location: Montana Posts: 3,696	Re: Joke Thread After a year of 2020, now 2020 Won! I guess everyone can have a bad decade now and then ... __________________ Current/past Chevy/GMC trucks: 1958 Chevy C-60; 1965 GMC C-50; 1965 Chevy C-10; 1971 Chevy K-10; 1973 Chevy K-20; 1976 GMC C-20; 1977 Chevy C-10 Suburban; 1980 Chevy K-10; 1989 Chevy K1500; 1991 GMC V1500 Suburban; 2016 Chevy K2500 HD Other vehicles: 1988 Jeep XJ; 2011 Toyota 4Runner

01-10-2021, 08:51 PM	#323
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,514	Re: Joke Thread Remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off! The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Runnnnnnn! __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross



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01-13-2021, 09:29 AM	#325
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,514	Re: Joke Thread Kleptomaniacs always take things literally. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

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