Joke Thread - Page 42 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**kwmech** · 10-17-2021, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done

That has got to be a photo shop. That windshield would have blown out with that much weight. There has got to be at least 7-800 lbs there. Those look like 12 footers. But yeah, I'd have surely waited around, camera ready

**Ol Blue K20** · 10-17-2021, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

I know the feeling...

**richard2717** · 10-18-2021, 03:53 PM

done

**Getter-Done** · 10-18-2021, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwmech

that has got to be a photo shop. That windshield would have blown out with that much weight. There has got to be at least 7-800 lbs there. Those look like 12 footers. But yeah, i'd have surely waited around, camera ready

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**Getter-Done** · 10-21-2021, 06:26 AM

.

**Ol Blue K20** · 10-21-2021, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Getter-Done

.
Attachment 2140463

I'm all in for this one..

**Getter-Done** · 10-21-2021, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

I'm all in for this one..

I thought you would

**Getter-Done** · 10-21-2021, 10:20 PM

.
Steering

**richard2717** · 10-22-2021, 04:11 PM

'I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART'
A group of women were at a seminar on How to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3 I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she??

**old Rusty C10** · 10-22-2021, 04:17 PM

I had to help a friend make final arrangements for a family member .. undertaker quoted almost $25K for a not so lavish funeral. Having burried my parents not so long ago with a similar funeral for about 10K each I asked why so much... undertaker replied the high cost of living.... is that irony?

**richard2717** · 10-23-2021, 08:10 AM

A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she replied..Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied......'Two popsicles & some coffee.'

**richard2717** · 10-23-2021, 08:12 AM

Well I did something I don't normally do. Last night I went out and had way more to drink than normal. Had several shots and quite a few mixed drinks. I knew I was way over the limit to be driving so I took the bus . Boy am I glad I did, there was a dui checkpoint , but as it was a bus they waved it through. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.

**Getter-Done** · 10-24-2021, 10:09 AM

Varible Stroke rod

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No Blow Fuses
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No map Required

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How It's Made: Pizza Cutter
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**Boog** · 10-24-2021, 10:27 AM

Hey, put that wheel back on there. There's some brakeage left in that one yet.

**richard2717** · 10-25-2021, 10:28 AM

fear

**richard2717** · 10-25-2021, 10:31 AM

I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper.

Shifty One · 10-25-2021, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog

Hey, put that wheel back on there. There's some brakeage left in that one yet.

Yup, still meat on that bone boy...

**Getter-Done** · 10-25-2021, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

fear

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**richard2717** · 10-26-2021, 07:45 AM

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected
his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad..
The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors
would change underwear occasionally.
The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."
He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with
Schultz."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Someone may come along and promise "Change",
but don't count on things smelling any better.

**Getter-Done** · 10-30-2021, 10:51 AM

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**kwmech** · 10-30-2021, 12:10 PM

No kidding, I would certainly like a ride off this rock

**Stocker** · 10-30-2021, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwmech

No kidding, I would certainly like a ride off this rock

Be careful what you wish for..... that time will come soon enough.

**Boog** · 10-31-2021, 09:43 AM

Bang! Zoom! To tha moon Alice!

Who remembers where that line came from?

**Stocker** · 10-31-2021, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boog

Bang! Zoom! To tha moon Alice!

Who remembers where that line came from?

Jackie Gleason -- The Honeymooners

**Boog** · 10-31-2021, 09:59 AM

Yeah. Jackie was quite an actor. And he played Sheriff Buford T Justice oh so well too.

10-18-2021, 03:53 PM	#1028
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread done Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-21-2021, 06:26 AM	#1030
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,413	Re: Joke Thread . __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

10-21-2021, 10:20 PM	#1033
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,413	Re: Joke Thread . Steering __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

10-22-2021, 04:11 PM	#1034
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread 'I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART' A group of women were at a seminar on How to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart." The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses. Here are some of the replies: 1. Who is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick? 3 I love you too. 4. What now? Did you crash the car again? 5. I don't understand what you mean? 6. What did you do now? 7. ?!? 8. Don't beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need? 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day. 12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she?? __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-22-2021, 04:17 PM	#1035
old Rusty C10 Robert Olson Transport Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: recent transplant to NC USA Posts: 20,310	Re: Joke Thread I had to help a friend make final arrangements for a family member .. undertaker quoted almost $25K for a not so lavish funeral. Having burried my parents not so long ago with a similar funeral for about 10K each I asked why so much... undertaker replied the high cost of living.... is that irony? __________________ Bob 1951 International running on a squarebody chassis "If a man's worth is judged by the people he associates himself with, then i am the richest man in the world knowing some of the fine people of this board" http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/a...t.php?f=25&a=9 (you can review the site rules here!) PM Me for your vehicle/parts hauling needs in the North East US or see my Facebook page Robert Olson Transport Live each day to the fullest.. you never know when fate is going to pull the rug out from under you... I hate cancer!!

10-23-2021, 08:10 AM	#1036
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she replied..Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied......'Two popsicles & some coffee.' __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-23-2021, 08:12 AM	#1037
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread Well I did something I don't normally do. Last night I went out and had way more to drink than normal. Had several shots and quite a few mixed drinks. I knew I was way over the limit to be driving so I took the bus . Boy am I glad I did, there was a dui checkpoint , but as it was a bus they waved it through. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it. __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-24-2021, 10:09 AM	#1038
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,413	Re: Joke Thread Varible Stroke rod No Blow Fuses No map Required How It's Made: Pizza Cutter __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

10-24-2021, 10:27 AM	#1039
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,515	Re: Joke Thread Hey, put that wheel back on there. There's some brakeage left in that one yet. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

10-25-2021, 10:28 AM	#1040
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread fear Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-25-2021, 10:31 AM	#1041
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper. __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-26-2021, 07:45 AM	#1044
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 10,127	Re: Joke Thread There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.. The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally. The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!" The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear." He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz." THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better. __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

10-30-2021, 10:51 AM	#1045
Getter-Done Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN. Posts: 8,413	Re: Joke Thread __________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ 84 Chevy K-20 63 Impala (my high school car) http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...Crew Cab Build

10-30-2021, 12:10 PM	#1046
kwmech Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Colfax-California Posts: 8,631	Re: Joke Thread No kidding, I would certainly like a ride off this rock

10-31-2021, 09:43 AM	#1048
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,515	Re: Joke Thread Bang! Zoom! To tha moon Alice! Who remembers where that line came from? __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross



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10-31-2021, 09:59 AM	#1050
Boog laying low Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Searcy, Ark. USA Posts: 13,515	Re: Joke Thread Yeah. Jackie was quite an actor. And he played Sheriff Buford T Justice oh so well too. __________________ Boog 69 Chevy stepside, 358/T350, 4.11 posi, 4.5/4 drop, rallys, poboy driver primer is finer 91 Chevy sportside, Tahoe, Yukon & GMC Crewcab All GM..'nuff said. I stand for the flag and kneel at the cross

Register or Log In To remove these advertisements.