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Old 04-25-2022, 04:14 PM   #1426
richard2717
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Re: Joke Thread

Cook
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Old 04-25-2022, 09:52 PM   #1427
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Re: Joke Thread

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Cook
Careful
You have to fall asleep in the same house
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Old 04-25-2022, 10:51 PM   #1428
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Re: Joke Thread

As my wife regularly tells me "I know where you sleep"!
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Old 04-27-2022, 07:47 AM   #1429
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Re: Joke Thread

sew
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 04-27-2022, 08:03 AM   #1430
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Re: Joke Thread

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sew
How true this is.
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Old 04-27-2022, 08:27 PM   #1431
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Re: Joke Thread

A little lame
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Old 04-27-2022, 10:30 PM   #1432
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Re: Joke Thread

This place really does need a "like" button.
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Old 04-27-2022, 10:41 PM   #1433
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Re: Joke Thread

I was afraid if I "liked" tiggers post, I would be viewed as sadistic.
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Old 04-28-2022, 12:05 AM   #1434
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My wife was watching "Jack Reacher", and I caught a bit of it while working on some things in the garage, going in and out of the house. If you want to see "sadistic", just watch some fight scenes on TV or in the movies. I've never seen anyone get punched on the chin in a bar and bounce back up to take more punishment...or roundhouse kicked in the back of the head, etc.
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Old 04-28-2022, 01:09 AM   #1435
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Re: Joke Thread

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My wife was watching "Jack Reacher", and I caught a bit of it while working on some things in the garage, going in and out of the house. If you want to see "sadistic", just watch some fight scenes on TV or in the movies. I've never seen anyone get punched on the chin in a bar and bounce back up to take more punishment...or roundhouse kicked in the back of the head, etc.
Wife & I sometimes watch old westerns. Amazing that two guys can beat the tar out of each other's faces and almost never bleed. If they do get cut or scuffed, it's usually healed by the next scene.
Men were tougher when everything was on black & white film.
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Old 04-28-2022, 10:33 AM   #1436
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Re: Joke Thread

roy
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Old 04-28-2022, 10:51 AM   #1437
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Re: Joke Thread

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roy
Looks more like a young Benny Hill to me....

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Old 04-28-2022, 10:53 AM   #1438
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Re: Joke Thread

-
The Truth.
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Old 04-28-2022, 08:49 PM   #1439
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Re: Joke Thread

Accuracy

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Old 04-28-2022, 10:28 PM   #1440
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Re: Joke Thread

^ That's way wrong. A Progressive should be replaced by a Communist in that cartoon. "Woke" is a Fascist dog whistle.
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Old 04-29-2022, 02:51 PM   #1441
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Re: Joke Thread

door
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Old 04-29-2022, 03:13 PM   #1442
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Re: Joke Thread

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same ****ing elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bull**** stories.
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Old 04-29-2022, 06:42 PM   #1443
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same ****ing elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bull**** stories.
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Old 04-30-2022, 05:47 PM   #1444
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Re: Joke Thread

run
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Old 05-02-2022, 07:02 AM   #1445
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Re: Joke Thread

REDNECK LENT
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.
But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass ... And as the Priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and
raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and
watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz
raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 05-02-2022, 09:26 AM   #1446
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Re: Joke Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by richard2717 View Post
REDNECK LENT
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.
But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass ... And as the Priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and
raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic.
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and
watched in amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz
raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
Absolutely fantastic!
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Old 05-02-2022, 09:46 AM   #1447
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Re: Joke Thread

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Old 05-02-2022, 11:07 AM   #1448
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Re: Joke Thread

Oh my. LMAO! That Bubba..
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Old 05-03-2022, 09:24 AM   #1449
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Re: Joke Thread

That made me laugh out loud

EDIT: the post is gone now…
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Old 05-05-2022, 09:06 PM   #1450
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Re: Joke Thread

...
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